No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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