For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
