"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
