Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
