the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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