i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
the condom got lost in my hair
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I think your dad took our porno
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
