walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
