He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
