They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
