eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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