How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
