Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I think i got beer on your cat.
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