And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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