its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
