I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
