My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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