I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
im calling her cock vulture from now on
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
