I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
