so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
