I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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