I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
