she looked like the before picture.
false alarm. still invincible.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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