This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
