i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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