piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
