Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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