i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
