Me too!
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
