When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
