More tranny stories later!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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