I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
