Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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