butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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