Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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