You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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