Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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