My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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