I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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