bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
worst night to have a conscience
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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