So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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