Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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