quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
