if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
