Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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