I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
