I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
