You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
His hands were made for my vagina.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
