Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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