DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
