no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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